Climate Change You Can Believe In

Mr. Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington DC. 00000

RE: Climate Change You Can Believe In.

Dear Mr. President:

Over the past year, we have witnessed innumerable examples of idiots with a Harvard education making ruinous decisions on finance, economics, politics, etc. Looking at traditionally respected educational institutions for solutions to environmental problems isn’t likely to yield any positive results either.

I just want you to know that I have commanded the Sun to dramatically reduce solar flare activity and thereby have reversed the dreaded global warming that charlatan Al.Gore was so terribly concerned about.

I was reluctant to admit to my complicity in this because I am a member of an ancient order of Solar Controllers that has survived here on earth for thousands of years without detection.

Archeological data collected throughout the world has confirmed that for the past 1 Million years, the earth has experienced atmospheric temperature cycling on an approximate 1500 year cycle. This has been verified by more than 700 peer-reviewed scientists.

For over 500 years we have been able to link earth temperature with solar flare activity and have used this information to predict crop production. The more solar flare activity, the warmer the earth’s temperature.

As we know, the earth’s temperature has decreased every year since 1998 proportional to the reduction in solar flare activity, even as CO2 from man-made sources has continued to increase during that same time period.

I want you to know that we will continue to regulate solar flare activity as we have for thousands of years, completely independently of any silly, presumptuous, and asinine environmental plans you attempt to implement.

I suggest you focus on programs to generate real jobs, and stop trying to spend America into slavery with your stupid, un-Constitutional social plans.

Sincerely,

Ra